Create Your Soft Life
Have you ever thought about what it would be like to live a “soft life”?
You know… the opposite of a hard life. A soft life is about ease, intention, peace, and less stress — not because life is perfect, but because you’ve chosen to stop surviving and start living.
And we all know what a hard life is, right? — it can look different for everyone, but one thing’s for sure: most of us are living it, whether we realize it or not.
Here’s the truth — many people live hard lives by default, simply because they’ve never learned how to create systems that support the life they actually want.
We all have a vision in our head about how we want life to feel to us and for us.… calm, organized, fulfilling. But that vision often stays stuck in our minds because we don’t exactly know how to bridge the gap between what we want, our current state of living, and how to actually get to better–you know–making it our reality.
We try little things here and there — buying a new planner to feel more organized, setting an earlier bedtime to catch up on more sleep, or rearranging our schedules in hopes of finally feeling more balanced — but that deeper shift that we’re so desperately searching for doesn’t just happen until we’re able to build sustainable systems that support consistency, real rest, and ease.
Start With Structure
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about all that goes into building these supportive systems — especially as a single mom who’s constantly juggling everything, all the time. I’ve noticed that I’ve been feeling stretched thin, and if I’m being completely honest, a bit frustrated. I realized I haven’t been frustrated because I don’t know what I want, but because I haven’t built the necessary systems to sustain the goals I’ve set for myself.
I kept coming back to this one thought: there’s never enough time for me to just be—and that’s when it clicked for me. Maybe, just maybe, life would feel lighter, softer, and even a bit easier if I had better systems in place.
For me, these “better systems” mean having a consistent morning routine, being more intentional with my time by working from a daily to-do list, and having that satisfying feeling of checking tasks off as I go. It also means establishing evening routines that help me end the day with calm and clarity, not chaos and disorganization. When I’m not intentional about how I end my day, I get up the next morning feeling scattered and unsure of where to shift my focus first. This almost always leads to early morning stress before the day can even get started.
As I spent more time reflecting on what it really means to build meaningful systems, a memory from my high school years kept coming to mind. I used to work at Wendy’s Fast Food Restaurant, and sometimes I’d be scheduled until closing. I started out on the french fry station, then moved on to making the sandwiches, from there to the front counter, and eventually, I ended up at the drive-thru window. If you know anything about working in a fast food restaurant, you know you have to be sharp, fast, and focused to keep the drive-thru moving.
When I had closing shifts, part of my responsibility was to clean thoroughly and make sure the prep station was fully stocked and ready for the morning crew. If that didn’t happen, the night crew would be reprimanded, and the morning shift would walk into a mess–scrambling for what they needed to ensure a successful start to their day.
That memory made me realize something important: this is exactly why building systems and routines matter. They keep you organized, reduce chaos, and help set you—and anyone depending on you—up for success.
In this post, I’ll walk you through how to build a simple system that supports a calming and effective evening routine–one that helps you end your day with more ease, clarity, and intention.
Why Evening Routines Matter
Don’t you just hate when you go to bed feeling burnt out from the day, not having completed your tasks, and dreading getting up the next morning because you know that you’ll probably have to play a game of catch-up to try and get back on track? If this is how most of your days unfold, that constant rat race could leave you feeling overwhelmed and stressed out-and eventually burnt out.
This is exactly how I felt when I was teaching in the classroom. I would go to bed mentally drained, still thinking about lesson plans, student needs, or unfinished tasks–and wake up already behind for the day. I felt like there was never enough time to catch my breath, plan productively, or put myself in the right headspace to truly unwind when my day was coming to a close.
Now that I understand the importance of an evening routine and the benefits it brings to my health, mindset, and my overall well-being, I’ve started treating it as a non-negotiable part of my day–to relax, regroup, and unwind.
This week, I challenge you to reflect on how you currently spend your evenings. Then ask yourself: Are those habits helping you sleep better, reduce stress and anxiety, and boost your mental focus and productivity for the next day? If the answer is no, I encourage you to keep reading–and let’s talk about how you can start creating a relaxing evening routine for yourself by tonight.
First, Build Your System–Then, The Routine Will Follow
It’s important to remember that an evening routine doesn’t just happen.
Wanting to end your day with a relaxing routine is a wonderful act of self-care — but just wanting it isn’t enough. It has to be something you intentionally make space for.
Start by thinking about a few calming- relaxing activities you can look forward to each night. Perhaps making yourself a cup of coffee or hot tea, or listening to calming music as you reflect on your day.
When you decide on the activities that work for you, go an extra step and write those things down in the order you want them to happen. Now, choose a time that you will begin winding down for the evening to start your routine.
Simple Self-Care Ideas To Add To Your Routine
Healthy habits don’t stick without support. In order to make your relaxing evening routine a success and something you can stick with on most days, creating a system will help you organize your time, prioritize yourself, and show up for your routine with intention. What does this actually mean?
It means creating space that allows your routine to exist. That might look like eating dinner a little earlier so you can tidy up the kitchen without rushing.
It could mean laying out your clothes and prepping your lunch for the next day (right after dinner), so the rest of your evening is completely yours to unwind, reflect, and indulge in what feels good to you-because health and wellness isn’t just about movement and healthy meals. It’s also found in the moments you choose to slow down and make space for yourself.
Reflect & Reset
You’ve romanticized your evening routine — how you want it to feel, look, and unfold.
Maybe you’ve chosen to journal to clear your mind and renew your thoughts.
Or maybe you’ve decided to listen to some calming music while sipping a soothing beverage — coffee, hot tea, or a glass of wine to help you unwind.
Whatever your evening looks like, be intentional with it.
This is your time — time to unwind, settle in, and release the tension or bad energy from the day. Let this be your moment to relax, reset, and create a space filled with peace, calm, and rest.
Leisure Living Is Self-Care!
Final Thought
Evening routines don’t need to be perfect, they just need to feel like you. Start small, knowing that they may shift from week to week depending on your needs, how you feel, and what you might want to add or remove. Just keep in mind: your routines are only as strong as your systems that support them. Build the system first-and the routine will naturally follow.
Evening Routine Essentials
Looking to make your evenings feel more calm, cozy, and relaxed? Here are a few of my favorite Amazon items that help me rest, reset, and wind down from the day:
→ 🕯️Diffuser for calming scents (https://amzn.to/4iQFz4J) I love using lavender oil in the evening. It calms and relaxes me within minutes. As soon as I turn on my diffuser, it’s my signal that it’s time to shift into wind-down mode.
→🍵Herbal tea to sip and unwind (https://amzn.to/3RwigB8) In the evenings, chamomile tea is the perfect drink to soothe your soul. It’s calming, relaxing, and helps create a sense of peace as you ease into your evening routine. I like to drop a peppermint in my cup. It gives the tea that extra little something that makes it even more special to sip and savor.
→📓 A journal to clear my mind (https://amzn.to/4i1xeKw) Journaling is a great way to wind down and reset at the end of the day. Writing down your thoughts and feelings allows you to reflect on your day, release any negative energy or built-up tensions so you’re able to gain mental clarity for the day ahead.
→🛏️ Cozy throw blanket for ultimate comfort (https://amzn.to/4leyV9Z) What can signal a relaxing wind-down better than a warm, cozy throw blanket? This is the ultimate evening wind-down essential especially if you’re settling in on a comfy sofa. Wrap yourself up, relax your mind, and let your body relax. Look forward to waking up feeling refreshed and renewed in the morning.
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